Feedback. What do you think of when you hear that word? Do you think “YES! An opportunity to grow!” or “Ugh. Great, I get to hear all the ways I’m falling short.”? Or do your feelings on hearing how your doing fall somewhere in the middle?
Feedback, whether formal- like in a written review, or informal- like in a casual conversation, can be hard to stomach. It can be hard to hear and even harder to digest depending on the emotional state you are in when receiving it.
If I’m being super honest (spoiler alert, I’m being super honest), I have a love/hate relationship with feedback. I love it because I see it as a chance to better understand how others perceive me and how effective I am as a leader or team member. I hate it because there that pesky part of me that always wants to be perfect, wants the 100% on the test. A+ or bust! Who’s with me!?
When I really think about it and talk myself through what receiving feedback is all about, of course I don’t REALLY want a perfect score, because no one is perfect. We ALL have areas of our lives, both professionally and personally, that have room for improvement. If we didn’t have lessons left to learn, what would be the point of showing up each day for our lives?
In the past few weeks I’ve had an influx of professional feedback, from a 360-degree review where people I work with at all levels are able to give me feedback, to more casual conversations about what’s going well and what I can improve on. Now it’s my job to soak it all in and decide what actions I take on the information and while everyone processes and actions feedback differently, here are a few things that help me make the most of hearing how I’m doing:
Just breathe.
Repeat after me… “I am not perfect. It’s all going to be okay.” Something I’ve learned around receiving feedback is to slow down and not feel the need to respond or justify in anyway in the moment. There is nothing wrong with needing a little time to think through the information you are receiving and give yourself a chance to process
No, really. Thanks a lot.
I had a boss who used to say this thing anytime you gave her constructive criticism… get ready for it… “thank you for the feedback”. Earth shattering, right? I mean… it’s so simple and so PERFECT. You express your gratitude and rightfully acknowledge the person taking the time and, lets be honest, the risk, of telling you what they really think. All in five little words. Maybe thanking the person giving the feedback is obvious or maybe you’ve never given it a thought, but there is something powerful in communicating that you are so open to the information that you are actually giving gratitude for it. If you want to get feedback on a regular basis, thank the folks that give it to you.
Take it, or leave it. Or a little of both.
Feedback, similar to people, is not perfect. There are a million little factors that can affect or skew the way someone views you and your performance. People will say “perception is reality” but that isn’t always fair or even true. Practice self-awareness, surround yourself with people you trust to be honest and not just tell you what you want to hear, and weigh the opinions of others carefully before you decide what is and isn’t true about you or your performance. There are times when you need to “take immediate action” and there are times when you need to “take it as a grain of salt” and it takes time, reflection and a whole lot of commitment to personal growth to make the effort to distinguish between the two.
As my career has progressed, the type of feedback I’ve received and even how it’s delivered has changed. Ultimately, I’m extremely grateful to the people in my life who are willing to give it to me straight, especially when it’s clear that its coming from a place of wanting to help me be more successful.
What are your best tips for sharing or accepting feedback in your professional or personal life?